The Inbetweener

In the world of mothers there are two types; The Earthy Mother and The Schedule Mother. (Yes I made that up myself. Yes this is how I see it and not necessarily 100% correct. Yes it's quite black and white. But hey, it's my blog, so...) 

The Earthy Mother is 100% mother and ok with that. Breast feeds (for a long time). Feeds on demand. Co-sleeps. Is a mother and only a mother. Is ok with endless nursing, rocking, sleepless nights. Can completely accept spending every second of every day with her baby. 

The Schedule Mother is a mother, but wants to be more than that. Wants to have a life besides the baby. Feeds baby (a bottle) every four hours. Has routine for everything: nap-time, bed-time, bottle-time. 

And you know what? 

It works. 

Both options work. 

Because both mothers have a 'package' with elements that together make for one smooth ride. 

Ok, I didn't tell the truth in the first paragraph. There are actually three types of mothers; The Earthy Mother, The Schedule Mother and then there is me. The one that can't make up her mind, that's not the one nor the other. But somewhere in between. 

I breast feed. Because I know that is the best option for my baby. But the randomness of the feeding times, the lack of schedule is something I struggle with. 

I don't want to let my baby cry. But sitting with him in a darkened room helping him to sleep 5 times a day is something I find hard. 

The thought of someone other than me (or The Husband) looking after my baby scares me and I know that being at home with us is the best thing for them. But being only a mother makes me feel limited and not myself. 

So every day I try to figure out what is best for my baby and for me. And we'll get there, one day at a time. 

The lonely (wannabe) runner

About three weeks ago I started running again. (When I say running I mean following a couch to 5K training programme which doesn't involve a whole lot if running in those first weeks.) With Little Brother being about 6 weeks old I was dying to start moving again and having the odd hour for just doing something for me.  

I'm new to running. In Spring of last year, when Big Brother was about 8 months old, I decided running was a good way to get back into shape and build up my fitness level. So I started following the programme. But it didn't quite work out. I didn't have enough motivation, was working a stressful job and when I resigned there I was back to full time mothering while The Husband worked 24/7 to get our extension as finished as possible. When things started to settle down at the end of August I picked it up again and 2 weeks later was the proud owner of a positive pregnancy test. With a history of miscarriages I didn't want to risk anything and quit running. 

People around me kept running, making it to 5K, then to 10K (Hi Dee! Hi Cli! I know you're reading this) and I was a bit jealous.  So when Little Brother was born I wanted to restart the programme and this time stick to it. 

I run alone. There are people that think that is a lot harder than doing it with a group. (Hi Dee! ;-)) But to me, and I'm sure loads of other people, running is not only a physical challenge but also a mental challenge. I'm not very good at failing and the idea of failing (not being fast enough, not being able to do the intervals) when part of a group scares me. 

So I run alone. With my Runkeeper app telling me what to do and playing the music I selected. And at those point where I think I'm about to die I remind myself that there are people out there who would love to run, but can't. And that there are millions of people who once were wannabe runners and now easily do 5K, 10K, half marathons, full marathons and so on. 

I do need to get a new pair of shoes though. 

Daily life

Let's start with a daily life photos post. Just so you get an idea of who we are and what we do. 

We live quite close to Glendalough. I don't have to explain that on a day like today it gets ridiculously busy. Needless to say it is a lot nicer when it's quiet. And so I found myself pulling into the carpark before 9am this morning. We toured the settlement and took a stroll towards the lakes. Toddler-legs don't go far so we played on the grass for a while and left just as the tour busses started arriving.

After self-building an extension to our house for the last two years we are now finally creating a garden. Living on the side of a hill makes levelling a bit of a challenge, but we're getting there. And when I say "WE're getting there" of course I mean The Husband and his machinery. I just give instructions. 

I've recently put on my running shoes again. I'm following one of the famous couch to 5K programmes. But finding the time with a toddler and a 2 month old baby to take care of proves to be a work out in itself. And, in case you haven't noticed, it's warm. 

See, I'm making excuses.

Need. To. Run. Tomorrow. 

The heather is in full bloom, thanks to that yellow thing in the sky. For me it is a yearly reminder of our wedding in September 2009 when we used it for decorating the church and centre pieces for the dinner tables. 2009, time flies. 

Let's get this blog on the road

I'm not exactly new to blogging. I've been writing into cyber space since moving to Ireland in 2008. What started off as a way to keep my Dutch family and friends up to date about my new life slowly turned into sort of a hobby. Writing about Irish country life, living away from my homeland, my adventures in the kitchen and with my sewing machine. 

Between my blog and Twitter I 'met' loads of lovely people. A handful I have met in real life. It's amazing how much you start caring about the ups and downs in the life of someone you've never met. 

But let's be honest, not a whole lot of people can read or speak Dutch. So I've been playing with the idea of starting an English blog. To maybe meet even more lovely people, on the World Wide Web and, with a bit of luck, in real life. 

So here we are: Clogs in the country.