The lonely (wannabe) runner

About three weeks ago I started running again. (When I say running I mean following a couch to 5K training programme which doesn't involve a whole lot if running in those first weeks.) With Little Brother being about 6 weeks old I was dying to start moving again and having the odd hour for just doing something for me.  

I'm new to running. In Spring of last year, when Big Brother was about 8 months old, I decided running was a good way to get back into shape and build up my fitness level. So I started following the programme. But it didn't quite work out. I didn't have enough motivation, was working a stressful job and when I resigned there I was back to full time mothering while The Husband worked 24/7 to get our extension as finished as possible. When things started to settle down at the end of August I picked it up again and 2 weeks later was the proud owner of a positive pregnancy test. With a history of miscarriages I didn't want to risk anything and quit running. 

People around me kept running, making it to 5K, then to 10K (Hi Dee! Hi Cli! I know you're reading this) and I was a bit jealous.  So when Little Brother was born I wanted to restart the programme and this time stick to it. 

I run alone. There are people that think that is a lot harder than doing it with a group. (Hi Dee! ;-)) But to me, and I'm sure loads of other people, running is not only a physical challenge but also a mental challenge. I'm not very good at failing and the idea of failing (not being fast enough, not being able to do the intervals) when part of a group scares me. 

So I run alone. With my Runkeeper app telling me what to do and playing the music I selected. And at those point where I think I'm about to die I remind myself that there are people out there who would love to run, but can't. And that there are millions of people who once were wannabe runners and now easily do 5K, 10K, half marathons, full marathons and so on. 

I do need to get a new pair of shoes though.