The Inbetweener

In the world of mothers there are two types; The Earthy Mother and The Schedule Mother. (Yes I made that up myself. Yes this is how I see it and not necessarily 100% correct. Yes it's quite black and white. But hey, it's my blog, so...) 

The Earthy Mother is 100% mother and ok with that. Breast feeds (for a long time). Feeds on demand. Co-sleeps. Is a mother and only a mother. Is ok with endless nursing, rocking, sleepless nights. Can completely accept spending every second of every day with her baby. 

The Schedule Mother is a mother, but wants to be more than that. Wants to have a life besides the baby. Feeds baby (a bottle) every four hours. Has routine for everything: nap-time, bed-time, bottle-time. 

And you know what? 

It works. 

Both options work. 

Because both mothers have a 'package' with elements that together make for one smooth ride. 

Ok, I didn't tell the truth in the first paragraph. There are actually three types of mothers; The Earthy Mother, The Schedule Mother and then there is me. The one that can't make up her mind, that's not the one nor the other. But somewhere in between. 

I breast feed. Because I know that is the best option for my baby. But the randomness of the feeding times, the lack of schedule is something I struggle with. 

I don't want to let my baby cry. But sitting with him in a darkened room helping him to sleep 5 times a day is something I find hard. 

The thought of someone other than me (or The Husband) looking after my baby scares me and I know that being at home with us is the best thing for them. But being only a mother makes me feel limited and not myself. 

So every day I try to figure out what is best for my baby and for me. And we'll get there, one day at a time.